Diet Tips II

It's over. Thank God it's over.

9:10 a.m.
-wake up it's time for church
- fuck church i'm tired

9:25 a.m.
-dirty blue jeans
-morning breath
"come back to bed"

9:45 a.m.
3 cinnamon rolls
2 glasses O.J.
1 cup coffee
- 1 tsp. sugar
- 1 tsp. cream

10:15 a.m.
-Sucker Free Zone
"I'm in love with a stripper"
"Work that thing run girl"
"I wanna see that grill"
-P.R. day
-stealing wifi from parent's neighbors
-SHIT! Only two bars

1:30 p.m.
2 mimosas with local wine
1 Yamaha Virago
1 motor cycle jacket
2 wool sweaters
2 bottles Gucci cologne
2 pairs Y-fronts
1 picture frame
-Couple of the Century
-Bunny Loves Tweeter
1 leather jewelry box
1 paper back of Querelle

3:30 p.m.
1 bottle Gerolstiener
-vacuum the living room
-iron the table cloth
-rinse the lettuce
-chop the olives
"Oops! burned the almonds"
"Let's open another bottle of Champagne!"

5:00 p.m
1 halibut filet with lemon caper cream sauce
1 serving stir fried green beans w/pine nuts
1 small Ceasar salad
1 glass water
3 glasses Chardonnay
-Etta James Greatest Gospel Hits
-stomach expanding
-God I miss bulimia

7:30 p.m.
-frantic dash to scale
-still under 140

7:32 p.m.
-1 slice blueberry pie
1 cup coffee
- 1 shot Irish Cream
"Bobby Gentry bitch"

9:00 p.m
-Forty Year Old Virgin
-sex drive dying
-why don't I want to fuck
"I feel sick"
1 piece English Toffee

10:13 p.m.
Kill Bill Vol. II
-guilty feeling
"Just keep typing on your computer"
"Fuck you"
"Shutting Down"

land of entrapment to land of enchantment

I finally made it to N.M. after a long breakfast with the family. During which the toothless waitress at Dumplin's took 15 min. to bring me a 35 oz. O.J. from concentrate on ice while my grandparents repeatedly made fun of my hair and my constant weight loss.
I can't help it if God and the American media blessed me with self-control and poor body image.
Anyhow, I'm out of TX. at least for the time being.
Oh yeah! I also gotta super hot bike! That's right Bunny's a motor-bitch now. Watch out world I've got a truck, a motorcycle and an eating disorder.

West Texas Royalty

Bunny
10:01 a.m.
I've been in West Texas now for 16 hours and in that time I've seen:
23 dead deer two of which were mounted in a restaurant
2 trucks (one commercial the other personal) brandishing the Confederate flag
Countless oil refineries
hundreds of cows
2 cowboys riding horses on the freeway (I hope they never quit each other)
More white trash than the Queen has jewels

And I think to myself - what a wonderful world.

Wear your love like heaven.

I'd like to thank you for being the best damn blog reader I've ever known. Thanks, really.

-Randy

Bunny's Diet Tips

TEXAS TODAY

10:00 a.m.
- 10 min. late for work
1 bowl k.b.
- where the fuck are my keys
- fuck it!
- No. 6 to Congress

10:12 a.m.
-mean bus driver
-no water we're closed
-FUCK! I NEED COFFEE

10:27 a.m.
1 large glass OJ
5 mexican dishwashers
-Deck the Halls
- Mi Vida Loca
-My brain is going to explode
1 cup brown water desguised as coffee
2 creamers
2 spoons sugar
1/2 parliament light

11:01
Out of date cash register
Desperate office drones
Salad Bar
- would you like cheese on that?
- your change is $10.15
4 glasses water

2:30
1 spinach salad
1 cup banana pudding
1/2 parliament light
-magazines up!
-sinking feeling
YOU GOTTA GET OFF THE DAMN CELL PHONE TO RIDE MY BUS
-sinking deeper

2:45
Black cloud lifting
GONNA DRESS YOU UP IN MY LOVE
1 bowl k.b.
- Napa auto
- O'Riely Auto
- Maxwell Ford
- "yeah we got your pump"
FINALLY!

3:15
2 boutiques
1 gold chain
1 baby blue American Apparel t-shirt
1 hey girl from store owner

5:00
Whole foods makes me sick
1 bottle red wine
2 vegetarian spring rolls
1 cup asian slaw
-HAVE A HOLLY JOLLY CHRISTMAS!

8:15
Laptop
Black Pug
Frozen toes
2 cups water
1 bowl k.b.
1 praliament light
- tits tits tits....ass ass ass...lingerie

9:00 p.m.
Heidi Klum
Black Pug
Laptop
-You either in or you out!
3 pitchers lone star
5 parliament light
TKO

10:15
1 bowl k.b.
5 more parliament lights
- time is slipping away


11:00
1 lonestar
1 jack and coke
- One is the Lonliest number
- Too many familiar faces
- too many familiar bodies
WHAT HAPPENS IN MONTREAL STAYS IN MONTREAL!


1:30 a.m.
1 lonestar
2 hits off the pipe
1 parliament (okay two)
-cold porch
-remember Mexico
-wish you were here

2:00 a.m.
You're all I need to get by
FUCK IT'S TWO!

Bock Box

Fifi here.
The issue is up.
Out.

Mutha Fuckin' Crunch Time

Fifi here.
Rotating tires. We took our editors photo today. I'm sick of looking at my titties, for sure. We had to buy toy guns for the photos and Bunny kept swearing in this little, bougie toy store. I found a fucking chicken hat! It looks like the chicken is shitting me out. More later. I'm making the website still.

Au Revoir,

Fif