They Give Me Goosebumps

When I was a kid, looking at porn was scary because I was afraid my parents would catch me stroking my pre-pubescent member. Now it's scary for a slew of different reasons. There are viruses, shady online credit card interactions, internet history, and the possibility of seeing someone you know gagging on a big fat dick. As if seeing your ex being fisted by a leather daddy isn't scary enough, the trend in hip pornography seems to be scaring young perverts into brand loyalty. The scariest part might be that I get hard watching this stuff.

Pinkie Pain, a one woman porn studio, describes herself as "the cutest danger ever." Her site features photos and videos that show her in such compromising situations as devouring a man's torso and drowning in a puddle of mud dressed in a bunny costume. Clearly Ms. Pain likes to play to the darker side but there are sites far more disturbing that ignore the morose and still frighten me out of my britches.

While some of the guys at Homo Punk maybe fuckable, they are all dressed in tiny thongs or children's clothing or bunny costumes. They all look like guys i've dated who have moved to New York, picked up meth, and quit showering. Maybe they are. Either way, it's more scary than sexy. Or is it?