But I'm a Vegetarian

Bunny LeRoi
Diet Tips V
01/29/06

11:00 a.m.

Droning noises coming from across bedroom
Heavy Eyes
-Yes pink is the perfect color Ms. Lovelace

11:15 a..m

Repetitive beeping coming from across bedroom
-(f.) Ideal Sadism.
-Sadism may eventually manifest itself solely in the imagination

12:13 p.m.
Whale sounds coming from cell phone
-Hello
"It's your mother. I haven't heard from you in a while. I figure your busy."
-I'm going to have to give blow jobs in the bathroom at work to make my way to San Francisco
"Ha ha ha! Or something like that!"
1 bowl Purple Urple

12:30
Stumble around bedroom trying to find underwear
1 pair pink American Apparel Y-fronts
1 grey sweat shirt
1 pair gold wire framed glasses
"Boom boom boom let's go back to my room"

1:00 p.m.
Stumble to the kitchen
Curse the world
Scrape tongue
Brush teeth
1 Drop Emu Oil
1 dollop First Aid serum
1 pair ripped jeans
2 dabs eye cream
-Where's my hair?
-Oh yeah

1:15 p.m.
2 cups progress coffee
1 spoon sugar
1 creamer
-Did you here @#$ is up!
"Yeah"
-Oh well
"Have you ever been to Jezebel."
-Yeah let's go.
"I need something new to read"
-I want Janice Dickinson

2:13 p.m
1 bowl Purple Urple
"...because we love you and what you do, we are extending the deadline..."
1 bottle Mexican mineral water
-Anymore of those naked lady lighters fall off the truck?
"Okay have a nice day."

2:47 p.m.
No Janice
No Chanel
No BUTT
-What kind of a bookstore is this
1 copy "The E Myth: Why most small businesses fail'
1 copy Blackbook Music Issue
-Usher makes my crotch all warm

3:55 p.m.
We're having a store-wide sale everything is 50% off
-You'd be hard pressed to find something worth the discount
20 pairs Clam Diggers
15 clutch purses
13 Hello Kitty tie-dyes
Nausea setting in
Need booze

4:30 p.m.
"Who wants dinner I'm buying"

5:15 p.m.
-Do you serve booze?
"Yes sir"
-See you soon

5:30 p.m.
"Welcome to the Salt Lick"
Family Style BBQ
All you can eat
Take your left overs home
1 Amstel lights
3 Parliament Lights
4 beer-battered onion rings
10 slices brisket
13 pieces pork sausage
3 spare ribs
3 spoons
10 spoons potatoe salad
15 tablespoons
3 cups coleslaw
2 cups beans
1 slice white bread

6:30 p.m.
"Would y'all like some more ribs"
-Yes please!
1 shot Irish Whiskey
1 Amstel Light
3 Parliament Lights
-I don't think I'll ever shit again
"What is a Yoni?"
-It's a pussy
"Follow the black carpet"
-Does anyone else feel high?

8:30 p.m.
Urban Legend
Muscles atrophy
Swelling all over body
2 Lone Stars
1 Grape Blunt

11:30 p.m.
Need to vomit
-Fight the temptation
-Fight the Temptation
"I'm sending a letter to Daddy."

12:01 a.m.
Weak neck
Aching Muscles
Swollen Stomach
-I'm never eating meat again

Deep-fried Retail

Retail Improvement Plan I
Bunny LeRoi
01/24/06

Someone once told me that the ever-boring American department store, Dillard's, used to be called Diamonds.Dillard's is nothing like a Diamond . Diamonds are the way to a Rabbits heart but a trip to Dillard's is the equivalent of animal testing on a poor Bunny. It smells like old women and babies. The employees are all over sixty or on the National Registry of Sex Offenders and the lighting makes we want to trow up.
So I've been trying to find a way that Dillard's can live up to its previous name. And the answer is "tempura." FRY THE BITCH! Think about a nice flakey Jessica McClintoch camousal or a pair of Steve Madden heels battered like a baby shrimp. YUM BITCH!

Scrubs

Bunny LeRoi
01/21/07
Holler 1

When I go running I wear white soccer shorts that barely cover my ass, a pink muscle shirt that says I fucked "Rick Perry,"
my gold Versace aviators. striped gym socks, and a pair of grey Adidas running shoes. So when some fuckin' hill billy screams"faggot!" out of his Yukon or F-150, I just shake it off. But when a homeless man at a bus stop calls me "baby" and continues with, "what's wit' it," then points at my crotch, I have to pause and think.

So what have you been up to since graduation?

Bunny LeRoi
Diet Tips III
Tuesday, January 17, 2006


9 a.m.

Strong smell of Tito's Vodka and Stale Parliament lights
"Texas is burning"
"The Dow is Up"
Throbbing Dick
SNOOZE

9:15 a.m.

Phlem gathering
Throbbing Dick
-God Damn I'm Horny!
"And this is Morning Addition"
SNOOZE

9:30 a.m.

FUCK!!!
-I can't stand up!
Dizzy Feeling
1 bowl k.b.
-Fifteen minutes 'til work
1 large glass O.J.
"...and it doesn't help to know that your just time away..."

9:45 a.m.

1 pink Barbie t-shirt
1 pair skin-tight blue jeans
1 pair white cowboy boots
1 gold locket
1 big black scarf
1 large coffee
1 tsp. sugar
1/2 Marlboro Light 100
Stomach turning


10:30 a.m.

-What the fuck is this, Mega Death?
1 bowl borcolli cheese soup
"Don't forget to bring dishes from the back kitchen...you are in station 3"
-Can I get my W-2s please?
Wages, tips, and other compensation
$10,178.34

11:30 a.m.

1 large glass O.J.
-I used to go to school with that girl
-She looks so grown up
-GOD DAMN! MY HEAD HURTS!
-Stop the pounding
-Hi how are y'all doin' today?
"Tea!"
-FINE
Blood rising
-Who the fuck does that bitch think she is?
Deep breathes

3:30 p.m.

1 spinach salad
1 cup brocolli
1 tbsp. of ranch
4 glasses water

4:00 p.m.

1 bagel with cream cheese
1 bottle Italian Sparkling Mineral Water
"...he is a making a careful examination of his legs, on which the
coarse dark hairs are silky in spite of their vigorous growth..."
1 hard dick

4:30 p.m.

-I need to unload this fucking wad!
-Let's go shopping
Offensive odor of scented candles
Hundreds of picture frames
"Would you like me to wrap this up?"
3 stores
2 pot heads
1 keylime tartlett
1 sample fruit tart
5 blue berries
1 red velvet mini-cupcake
1 large bottle sparkling mineral water
1 crystal picture frame
1 bouquet miniature flowers
-Will you wrap these up for us?
"Is someone having a birthday party?"
-Are you the big bald guy in the tie died t- shirt in that picture?
"Have a nice day"
"So you at the Yellow Rose"

6:30 p.m.

1 gay porn
15 minutes
1 coin sized dollop of lubricating liquid
"Yeah fuck me!!"
Short Violent breathes
1 coin sized dollop of cum
Eyelids getting heavy
200 Blue Bunnies jumping over a fence
20 minutes R.E.M.

8:30 p.m.

20 + pairs of tits
3 stages
3 lonestars
3 jack and cokes
1/2 priced drinks
1 drunk door girl
-HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAM!!
"Annie are you okay...?"
-Fuck that girl is selling–WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!!!?
1 human pretzel
2 ass cheeks/bongo drums
5 Parliament Lights

10:00 p.m.

2 parliament lights
1 Three-way lap dance
1 Lone Star
-I'm a stripper too!!!
-Why does stripper ass smell like candy?
"If you ever need girls to pose..."
-Thanks Lexi!

10:30

-Off to another bar
Stomach turning
Need more whiskey
3 or so Lone Stars
7 Parliament Lights
1 free Jager shot
"Come on and take me away...dream lover..."
-I want diamond fronts!!
-I want to fuck
-I need to sit down

1:30 a.m.

1 bowl k.b.
Stomach still unsettled
-Why can't I throw up?
-Bulimia used to be so easy
"Money, money, money...must be funny..."
-I'm funny
-Funny bunny
-Bunny's Funny Honey
Eyelids getting heavy
200 blue bunnies jumping over a fence

Issue #3

I know, I know- issue #2 is still hot, but I'm already excited for issue #3.

A Million Little Pieces

Well, January is 17 days old, and we've hit one million hits. One point one five, actually. Quite nice.

For all of you who made it out to the Launch Party, thank you! It was by far the party of '06 (thusfar). For everyone who had to wait 45 minutes for a beer or didn't make it inside at all, apologies. We didn't think things would get so packed, and Issue 3 will be in a much larger venue.

Photos will be up in the Gallery section this week-if you have any, mail them to photos (at) box-mag.com

xoxo
Randy

Let's get naked!

See you there!
Randy

doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore...

Bunny 1989

when i was about six my mom woke me up two hours before school because we had to "help some people out." she grabbed her big straw purse with suede straps, threw on her oversized shades and dragged my sister and i from our beds to her cream colored volvo.
we went to Grandy's and bought a dozen cinnamon rolls and filled our thermos with hot chocolate. we headed to the site of our day's good deed. when we arrived at the junior league charity event i had imagined in my head i didn't see any pearls and i certainty didn't see any cucumber sandwiches. instead, i stepped out of the car into a crowd of hairy female legs and everybody was screaming at something across the street.
there was something going on. i parted the sea off furry hippy trunks and made my way to the street. when i got there i was confronted by twenty disgruntled christian women frothing at the mouth and hurling insults at the forrest of legs i was standing in. they were wearing dresses that could have come straight from the set of little house on the prarie and holding signs with dead babies in trash cans on them. they were accompanied by men that looked like my coaches from school. they just stood there. i was scared of the bleeding babies and the ugly women and the reminder of gym.
i screamed and frantically ran away from the street. i searched through the forrest, finally clutching the only bare trunks in the lot. my mom grabbed me and told me she loved me and that i should never be like the people across the street. she picked me up, kissed my cheek and put me in the back seat of the volvo where i slept until i got to school.
that's my boyfriend on all fours right there below the blinds

La Quinta is Spanish for $78 a room on the edge of a dusty asshole of a town

FIfi, Ginger, Randy, Vix and Bunny
Diet Tips I
Wednesday, January 4, 2006

5 p.m.

4 x 1 XL large cup iced coffee
1 x 1 XL cup green tea
13 taco cabanas
2 outlet malls
- sneakers sneakers sneakers blah blah blah!
-MAMA CITAS!!!!
-wow cut this bitch off
1 Nalgene bottle full of SUPER CLEANSE
-fifi i think your dieting is a little unheathy

6:14 p.m.
La Quinta is Spanish for "My bladder is going to explode!"

1 cigarette
6 cups tamari almonds
1 handful bird seed trail mix
1 bottle mineral water
1 cup hot tea
-consistency is key
-remember when that girl totally flashed her kooter
-these mirrors make me look hot
-i'm hungry
-we paid for wireless god damn it


8;27 p.m.
La Quinta is Spanish for "I need Mexican takeout or my stomach is going to implode"

1 camel light
4 X 1 tecate
3 X 26.375 chips
1 cup smoked avocado salsa
-golden showers
-rubber dolls
4 x beans and rice
1 x chicken mole enchiladas
1 x hongo quesadilla
3 x vegetarian tacos
1 x Bottle SUPER CLEANSE
-mmmmmmm
-god i want to eat. this lemonade tastes like urine

10 p.m.
La Quinta is Spanish for "T&A"

2 x 1 tecate
2 bottles mineral water
-hot cars
-modern furniture
-whimsical feet
-ass and titties ass and titties
-i look much taller in these mirrors
-sploshing
-plushee sex
-They dress up like mascots and fuck
-No they don't
-Yes they do
-They also fuck teddy bears
-No
-YES!
-porn is played

12:03 a.m.
La Quinta is Spanish for "Grandma stole my style!"

1 x camel light
1 x parliament light
1 cock broach
1 cock fight belt buckle
2 x kitten socks
1 x off shoulder bangle kitty sweatshirt
-am i wearing too many animals?
-when does this stop being funny and become a serious problem?
-is this what happened to grandma?


12:09 a.m.
La Quinta is Spanish for "Dutch Oven"

3 x 1 cup water
-don't touch me there
-don't sleep on the couch
-no it's okay
-is Randy jacking off?
-vix is that you...?

Box Retreat Day 1 Recap

Two Words: Post-pornographic Smut.

Thank You.
-Randy

Bush for Box?

Waiting for the Mirror in the Bathroom
Originally uploaded by Randy.

Barb and Co. waiting to pee at Bunny's New Years Party. She was nice, by the way, and quite friendly (we chatted about my taking 1000 photos of her blonde friend), though I hadn't the foggiest idea who she was until she was gone.