Letters From the Editors

Box has moved.

2008-01-02T04:49:00.000-08:00

to box-mag.com/blog!

Come visit.

Chris and Lee

2007-04-28T09:15:00.001-07:00

Chris and Lee, originally uploaded by Ryan Tomorrow.

True or Falsies 1: What What in the Butt

2007-02-26T13:04:00.000-08:00

I found this guy while doing my daily blog rounds. Apparently he's legit. But as catchy as this tune is, I can't believe that anyone would back a project like this. Well, regardless of where the money is coming from, Samwell made me lose my shit. HA!

What do you think? True or Falsies?

Burning Angel vs. Rated X: St. Valentine's Day Massacre!

2007-02-23T13:25:00.001-08:00

, originally uploaded by Ryan Tomorrow.

Whew! A few weeks ago, BOX was invited to come document the mayhem as Burning Angel's James Deen brought his birthday troublemaking to the dancefloor at Rated X: The Panty Party.

We gave James the gift that keeps on giving, and Burning Angel certainly knows how to give and receive.

Look for an interview with queen bee Joanna Angel in an upcoming issue.

The rest of the images can be viewed here. NSFW.

XxX

The Box Fuck/Flip Book

2007-01-21T19:49:00.000-08:00

Box has some new projects on the horizon. Along with our follow up to issue 5 (Play), due out later this year, Box has teamed up with uber-sexy photog. Samantha Wolov to bring you a somewhat mature take on a classic children's book. The Box Fuck/Flip book, which will display photographs of Samantha's "couples collection," will be about 50 pages long and animate an intimate sexual encounter. And this ones safe for the faint of heart as well. It doesn't have anything to do with our signature silicone balls or paint enemas–just straight, steamy sex.

The Box Fuck/Flip book will be available in March at our fine retailers and at box-mag.com.

Photo by Samantha Wolov.

Box Rules NYC

2006-11-21T15:10:00.000-08:00

Saturday night was a blast. If you didn't make it out to the party all you have to know is, the folks at Luke and Leroy's know how to through a party and Michael T. and Theo play the jams that make all the boys and girls get naked. Check out these links for what you missed out on or just don't remember.

Ryan Tomorrow
Ambrel
Isabel

Flickr

2006-11-19T19:34:00.000-08:00

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

We Heart Your Undies

2006-11-17T09:42:00.000-08:00

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: Box #5: "Work" Launch Party, NYC, Nov. 18, 2006

The Editors of Box Magazine, vanguard of independent sex and culture,
invite you to join them at Luke and Leroy's Rated X Panty Party on
Saturday November 18 for the NYC launch of Box #5, the first print
edition from the exceedingly popular online publication.

Box #5, titles "Work", is a limited-edition (5000 copies worldwide),
luxury print edition. The Editors couldn't think of a better venue in
NYC to launch the magazine then at Rated X, known worldwide as NYC's
location for a debaucherous evening with the prettiest partygoers in
the city. The party will feature free issues of Box #5 for the first
25 at the door, free Burning Angel porn DVDs, the infamous Rated X Hot
Body Contest with special prizes provided by JB Classics
(suite2206.com), and 2 for 1 drinks all night for those who check
their pants at the door.

Box Magazine and JB Classics presents:
Box #5 Launch Party at Rated X, The Panty Party
10pm-4am
21 and older, please
21 7TH AVE SOUTH+LEROY ST. NYC 10014
212-645-0004

Contact Ryan McManus at (512) 944-2800 for further information or for
a complementary copy of Box #5.

Box Magazine
http://www.box-mag.com

JB Classics
suite2206.com

The XXXorcist - 2 DVD Disc Set from Burning Angel - Out Now
www.thexxxorcist.com
www.burningangel.com

The Greatest Party on Earth

2006-11-14T10:54:00.000-08:00

So it's on. Our NY debut. The flier says it all, except that there's an open Stoli bar from 10-11 and $5 Stoli drinks all night. If you can make it out, put on your favorite panties and bust 'em out to meet the contributors, editors and models of Box.

See you with your pants off!

Salute Your Sausage

2006-11-03T19:41:00.000-08:00

You know, the thing about Texans is that they really love to party. In Austin, every week there is something to celebrate (read: drink beer in public). There's SXSW, the Texas Relays, the Old Pecan Street Festival, Austin City Limits, Spamarama, first Thursday, third Thursday, etc. At some point, you think people would just admit they're alcoholics, you know?

Anyway, every now and then, I think Texas says to itself, "Let's actually celebrate something." Hence Wurstfest. Legend has it, Wurstfest was founded by Ed A. Grist, a practicing Veterinarian and City Meat Inspector. 1961, its first year, drew a crowd of 2,000. By its 25th anniversary, Wurstfest was drawing 120,000 sausage lovers to the New Braunfels, Texas. Since sausage is so inspirational, people come from all over the world to enjoy food, traditional German and Alpine music, and polka.

And, of course, drink beer.

Check out our new digs

2006-11-03T16:04:00.000-08:00

They are here. All 150 boxes of them, stacked half way up one wall in the Box office. Enjoy!

Nice Dick. Is that a Porcelain Kitty?

2006-10-31T13:31:00.000-08:00

If you've ever trolled for sex online you are no stranger to pictures of working class dudes jacking off in rooms that look like they were decorated by Rose from The Golden Girls. There he is–the man who you could potentially pork–and behind him, the gray cum-stained futon that you'll be porking on.

It's slim pickin's in the virtual world but wouldn't be nice if there was a Queer Eye for your amateur fuck buddies? Imagine Ron, the hairy mechanic, standing in front of an Eames chair instead of a pleather recliner from Rooms to Go. It would make the prospect of sex with a complete stranger just a bit more inviting.

Cruising online is not pretty, but one man is making an effort to change that. Justin Jorgensen is a conceptual designer based out of Los Angeles with a mission to challenge the truly challenged. In his book and web gallery, Obscene Interiors, Justin critiques the poorly designed spaces of men in adult personal ads. He describes the project as "a collection of real online male personal ad photos and my critique of the naive interior decorating exposed therein. (No need to shield your timid eyes, the often-nude figures have been laboriously obscured.)"

So Ron, don't worry about being found out and please take Justin's advice–loose the floral comforter!

Faking It

2006-10-30T15:48:00.000-08:00

Every Sunday morning, between 9:30 and 11:00, my neighbors have sex. Now I'm not sure if the couple is the one above me, a fairly hip guy and and a fairly hip girl, or if it is the couple that shares my wall, a grumpy guy and his wife, neither whom ever respond to my cheery hello. My sneaking suspicion is it's the latter who schedule their coitus. They have two kids, and I suppose Sunday morning is an easily scheduled time. And scheduled sex is great. It's like the Friday you get your paycheck on...
What's strange about it, though, is that it is the fakest sex I've ever heard. Girlfriend can battle even the fiercest of porn starlet moaners. And loudly. She sounds somewhere between a parrot and like she's actually having a good time. Once they were doing it while watching the E True Hollywood Story on Oprah. One day I walked by their apartment and their five year old son (the only one who has ever said hello to me, in fact) was mock moaning into his karaoke machine.
Whenever I walk by my neighbor, Cranky McCrankerson, I say hello and think to myself, "Your wife is faking it."

The Wonders of Child Birth

2006-10-27T17:30:00.000-07:00

All I have to say is: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Check out more of this glimpse into the miracle of procreation at funny ha! ha!

Reinventing the Cross

2006-10-25T16:19:00.000-07:00

It's no secret that the Madonna, once the mother of reinvention, is running out of original ideas. In the past two years she has ripped off Olivia Newton John's Physical in her video for Hung Up on You, she's stolen an African man's child, she even ripped herself off with a Human Nature-esque photo spread for W. On top of all of this, she is ripping off the Son of God and Italian photographer Danilo Pasquali in her latest TV special where she appears on the cross.

Hey Madonna, next time you rip someone off at least have the decency to do them some justice. Jesus never would have worn that much clothing Pasquali, whose photography is surreal but stripped down, doesn't need all of the glitter and pink to make his martyred models look stunning.

Click here and here to see just how off the mark Madge really is.

Caffiene Chic

2006-10-20T10:42:00.000-07:00

Sometimes one Red Bull just isn't enough. When you started drinking them you'd get an amazing buzz. You felt like you could run around the block five times, make a four course meal, fuck your brains out and go for another run. But, after months of the same dosage, the effects diminished. One can barely even wakes you up anymore and it takes a case just to get you through the day. Without it you are nothing. You find yourself tearing cans in half to lick the remaining yellowish syrup. Your stalk sorority girls and club kids, sucking on their empties until your mouth bleeds.

At $43 a case, you can hardly afford to feed your addiction let alone your children. Your life is falling apart and it's all your fault. Within days you will lose your job because you can't get out of bed without more. You have become a slave to that tiny blue can.

When Red Bull addiction has gone this far, there are only two solutions–either quit cold turkey or switch to Cocaine. Not the narcotic silly–the brand-new energy drink from Redux Beverages. Cocaine claims to be 350% stronger than Red Bull without the harsh come down, and it numbs your throat just like the real thing. At least for now, you can cut back on your expenses. And don't worry about the future–your children are safely put away in foster care, your job isn't going anywhere and if Cocaine takes off the way that Redux hopes, we are bound to see Crack in a can before too long.

Cheers to the Assholes

2006-10-19T09:39:00.000-07:00

We get the point–you are fabulous. You live in NY, you do cocaine until 6 a.m. when you get on the subway to go to work at Virgin corporate. You party every night at bars where a 12 oz. can of PBR (or piss water) costs $10 and you hang out with semi-famous or soon to be famous drug addicts who claim to be musicians. The one time you had Chlamydia you wore it like a badge of honor because you are hard-core. You hang out with drunk chicks who wear ankle boots and t-shirt skirts like its 1992–the type of girls who flash their tits at the site of a zoom lens, because being a fowl-mouthed whore is so ironic. You listened to Wolf Mother for a month before moving on to something more indie, because you are always ahead of the curve. You make black jokes and fag jokes because Vice told you it was okay. It would be such a waste if your life went undocumented–lucky for you, there's no way that could ever happen. Because of photographers like Björn Fagerholm, who to his credit is from Finland, your self-indulgent existence has a purpose–showing the world how obnoxiously hip you are. Fortunately, Fegerholm knows what he is doing with a camera and your whore girlfriends are kind of cute. So keep being the coolest guy alive.

It's Here...

2006-10-17T12:51:00.000-07:00

We stayed up all night like kids on Christmas. We drank white wine and talked about what would happen if it didn't come. We watched teenage dating shows on MTV until four o'clock in the morning. It is prohibited in our building, but we smoked inside anyway. We chain smoked and joked until we nearly passed out, and then it was time for bed.

Our restless sleep ended abruptly with the buzz of the doorbell. A man in a white uniform stood at the door holding a package of magazines in his hands. This was it.

Box finally made it to print and we have the first five of 5k issues in our hot little fingers. The glossy green cover feels like a latex rubber suit–slick and sexy. Only the Box logo marks the front cover, leaving the reader wondering, "What's under there?" Like a girl in a tight mini-skirt we tease, but all it takes is a lift of the leg (or cover in our case) to reveal all. From page one on, Issue 5 is a titillating view of the world of work in the United States. We explore the lives of pornographers, British rappers, food scientists, and sex dogs. We pay homage to the great erotic classics of the previous century and look in-depth at the pioneer of gay porn.

The wait, while excruciatingly nerve racking, was well worth it. In the coming days we will be preparing for the official launch of the print magazine. We will shop our product to boutiques, sex shops and newsstands. We will talk to retailers, sign contracts, write press releases and send out promo copies to our favorite publications. In two weeks we will party. We will drink, dance, strip and play. We will wake up the next morning wondering wear our panties are and how we got home the night before. After the hangover wears off, the anxiety will be begin again, and Box Issue 6 (Play) will be under way.

Who's Cool?

2006-10-16T09:49:00.000-07:00

Coolgirl365.com is another high-end porn magazine made for and by fashion professionals. The models look strikingly like those walking runways during fashion week, only this time there's nothing covering their razor-sharp pelvic bones. The site is a little on the digital-meets-analog side. In other words, it looks like it was created even before Flash (the technology required to view the site). It maybe a pixel-heavy vanity project for yet another fashion-photographer-turned pornographer, but don't let this site fool you, it is packed full of thought provoking female nudes. This photo from Cool Girl 365 Issue 1 is part of a series of old, playboy-style nudes by Geoffrey de Boismenu called Housewives. While these domestic dames may not have the signature bunny curves, Geoffrey has certainly reclaimed the soft-light and ambiance of Heff's better days.

What is Bernadinism?

2006-10-13T11:18:00.000-07:00

Alva Bernadine is a UK photographer known for his unique mixture of erotic imagery, religious iconography, and fashion photography. His work is always surreal and sometimes disturbing. Bernadinism:How to Dominate Men and Subjugate Women is a book of his photography, in which the renowned photographer displays some of his favorite tricks. He morphs bodies, elongates limbs and ignores faces all together, saying that he has permanently abandoned portrait photography.

While the work on his website may seem like the work of a deranged fetish photographer, Bernadine is anything but. He has contributed to such publications as Vogue, GQ, Elle and the Sunday Times. He is a fashion photographer turned surrealist artist. Lucky for us, he likes naked women.

Four-legged Succubus Coitus by Alva Bernadine

Mona Lisa or Marilyn Chambers?

2006-10-12T09:44:00.000-07:00

Working in the adult industry, it is easy to forget that sometimes people are just naked. They don't have to be sucking dick or getting pounded in the ass; they don't even have to be particularly sexual. In fact, there are photographers out who make nudes that are almost exclusively non-sexual. For example, Australian photographer Ric Woods’ collection of Black and White stills look more like something out of a turn-of-the-Century science journal than pornography.

His approach to nudes: "He explores our similarities, our differences, phobias, passions, our emotional baggage and our ever surprising quality to see beauty in each other."

Woods also has his subjects keep written diaries about their experience being photographed. Who knew there could be so much thought behind a naked body? However, no matter how thought provoking or complicated your process is, this is the era of internet pornography and no one is safe from government scrutiny. So, Woods has made a concerted effort to compartmentalize his work–ricwoods.net is for his nudes and ricwoods.com is his commercial site. Very slick, Ric!

Taster's Choice

2006-10-11T12:48:00.000-07:00

It's nice to know that there are people out there making porn that doesn't look like shit. I know that this sort of thing could never go mainstream because no one is getting skull-fucked or even deep-throated, but it is good to see that it exists. In the end, Richardson Magazine is caviar while Max Hardcore is a Big Mac. It may be the secret sauce or the sugar in the french fries but the Big Mac always seems to win in a popularity contest. No matter what it is, as long as America is fat and poor, caviar will always be on the fringe.

This photo by Taryn Simon from Richardson 2 is best served cold with a glass of Prosecco.

Day of the Dead, Dick Donkey

2006-10-11T12:23:00.000-07:00

I often fancy myself a free-thinker. However, when I come across something like this I feel like I am wearing a pair of Docker's khakis in a room full of slick-haired, stiletto-wearing Prada monsters.

The Prelude The Gardenpath DVD video performance Tracey Rose, 2003 shown at Polvo in Chicago 2006 (www.polvo.org)

Back in the Game

2006-09-26T14:18:00.000-07:00

As the editor of a magazine I hear a lot of excuses.

"My Vagina is sick. I can't make it to the shoot."
"I've been really busy and I lost track of time, can I have an extension?"
"You know I never ask for extensions. But, I just moved and I've been trying to find a job..."
"Peaches has pneumonia and HarMar is on tour. I could get you the singer from the Donnas."
"It's a lot of work looking for full-time employment. We're in an economic slump ya know?"
"I thought he was girl."

After a while it is hard to know what to believe. But believe me these are reasonable explanations for our absence in the past month.

We were:

printing the magazine
moving
trying to get peaches for issue 5
looking for jobs
looking for distributors
sick
taking a social hiatus
going through a really bad breakup
too drunk to care
coordinating release parties
watching americas next top model
researching the next three issues
trying to find models who aren't afraid of there genitals
looking for a cure for hpv and herpes
trying to get laid
going on a 7 day cleanse

Well, whether you buy it or not, the results are pretty impressive. Within days Issue 5 will be up for sale on our website. By October 10 it will be in stores in Austin, S.F. and N.Y. It's bright green, square and embossed on the front cover. If you like that–the inside is twice as impressive. Our editorial roster includes interviews with Lady Sovereign and Dian Hanson (the queen of sex magazines); a story about the king of vintage porn: AMG, and sex advice from Wiley Wiggins. We also have photos of S.F.'s real-life dogboy photographed by Deuce LaCock, a retrospective of Americas best porn by Mary Sledd, and a look at America's working class by Aubrey Edwards. Also, in our first print edition is the debut of our Vanitisement, in which we auction off a page in our magazine to shamelessly promote one reader per issue (check e-Bay in upcoming weeks).

Photo from The Masters Issue 5, by Mary Sledd.

Hot Pussy

2006-08-21T16:23:00.000-07:00

Fords suck. There are reasons for the insulting acronyms (i.e. Fix Or Repair Daily). If their performance weren't bad enough, Ford is responsible for making the vehicle mainstream (i.e. global warming) and interchangeable parts (i.e. making human labor obsolete). So Ford sucks. But Farah Fawcett doesn't. If only there was a woman today who could sell even the shittiest car the way she does, I might be driving a brand new escort.

Sex and Sneakers

2006-08-17T13:33:00.000-07:00

While sex is our main priority at the Box offices, shoes run a close second. It's not a weird fetish thing–we just love shoes. Not to say that we would kick a foot licker out of the bed, but–you get the point. Given our affinity for shoes and sex it was a delight to come across this Adicolor ad on youtube. It features our number one girl, Jenna Jameson, and a group of vector-animation teddy bears. It's hard to tell what is hotter: the woman selling the shoes or the shoes themselves.

WTF?

2006-08-16T14:00:00.000-07:00

I don't know what these guys are advertising, but clearly the Japanese know how to play up stereotypes, or whatever.

Gay Loves Guinness

2006-08-16T13:47:00.000-07:00

It's always a sad day when I see stereotypically masculine brands, like Budweiser, reaching out to gay men. I can imagine a group of straight guys sitting around a table conjuring images of Will and Grace and discussing what their girlfriends gay friends are like. The result is men in tight jeans and muscle shirts with spiky blonde hair partying in an uber-designed high rise apartment or two muscle men shirtless, embracing on the beach. Shameless targeting. It would almost be better if large corporations just left us alone, or perhaps hired someone who takes it in the can or has at least made out with a guy.

While this Guinness ad never made it past production, it is good to know that targeted advertising isn't all bad.

Sex Sells?

2006-08-09T07:10:00.000-07:00

Came across this interactive clothing catalog via a mate...definitely NSFW. Rollover to stop playback, and rollover hotspots to check out clothing...

2006-07-27T14:36:00.000-07:00

sammy.

I've often wondered what dogs do when we're away for the day. dtmagee shows us in this surreal account in the life of sammy.

Milan Is Burning

2006-07-19T00:16:00.000-07:00

When he appeared on the cover of Lucas Entertianment's Auditions 7 (Barcelona), Milan Gamiani looked like any other European hustler. He would smoke your dope, steal your cash and head for the closest taxi port to give hand jobs for more dope. That look, coupled with a long member and some Viagra is enough to score some industry buzz. Fortunately, Gamiani has the skills to match that look. Check out the extra Auditions 7 DVD footage for a lesson on proper bottoming.

On the cover of his latest vehicle from Raging Stallion, Gamiani looks more like something you might trip over on the way to work. Either way, I am sure he can still take it like a champ.

Happy Birthday, Bunny

2006-07-10T16:33:00.000-07:00

A hearty cheer and some soft rimming for our Editor in Chief on his Birthday.

Wish you were here.
Randy

Matthew Barney, Lube Advocate

2006-07-09T20:45:00.000-07:00

A dab of petroleum jelly can heal chapped lips or relieve ant bites. On the other hand, a large amount of the substance, say 45,000 lbs. worth, is enough to suffocate an elephant or make one man a legend. While I've never seen an Elephant tusks first, gasping for air in a pool of Vaseline, I did see Matthew Barney's Drawing Restraint 9 on Friday night.

In the two hour film, which is part of a much larger exhibition, Barney transforms a 2.25 ton vat of petroleum jelly into an epic masterpiece. As the jelly is forming on the deck of a whaling ship in Nagasaki Bay, Japan two lovers (played by Barney and girlfriend Bjork) literally become one in a bloody tea ceremony in the ship's belly. While the film is slow moving in parts, the imagery is oozing with sexual innuendo.

Drawing Restraint 9 is currently playing at the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art as part of Barney's Drawing Restraint series. The show will run through Sunday, September 17 and includes drawing, sculptures and videos that date back to the 1980s.

Deuce's Dicks

2006-06-29T16:53:00.000-07:00

The big move is on. I found 7 roaches (the insect) and five dollars in change under my mattress today. I also threw out a collection of flavored condoms, but I did hold on to Mr. Ridiculous' cut-off Alcatraz hoodie. As they say, the West Coast is the best coast and I don't want to disrespect my future home.

In honor of our move to the Greener Bay, here is a look at what the local talent can do. Box loves Deuce and his dicks.

my bittersweet romance with change

2006-06-28T16:48:00.000-07:00

vix and bunny and randy are moving away. fifi and i are getting our own places. i'm moving next to baby. 'so you think you can dance' is coming on in 3 minutes. and box will be in print soon. and issue 4 was amazing.

sexy cocktail parties are in my future. change is good. change is sad. everything is everything.

love,
ginger

O Austin, Do not sob.

2006-06-28T13:45:00.000-07:00

Despite my supposed web prowess, it has taken me this long to invite myself onto this thing. It feels great to finally be here. Welcome, Me. Why thank you, Me.

I'm not sad about Bunny and Vix leaving, because it's exciting and fancy, but the selfish child part of me that always wants cake and hates to bathe is pretty whiny right now.

I have also moved, but not far. I am living alone for the first time and it's a whole new world. I've wiped things, looked in the empty fridge, hung things, snacked, put things away, read, looked at my zits in the mirror, did yoga, looked in the empty fridge, stared at the ceiling fan, read, made Kombucha for fuckssake, but I still haven't masturbated. All my schwag toys are broken and i think I've been spoiled. Damn.

All told, I love the freedom. Come over and cook for me.

XOXOXO,

Fifi

not sure how i feel about it

2006-06-27T21:34:00.000-07:00

just like i memorized the order of the songs on my favorite mix tape in high school,

i have memorized the order of the speeds/vibrations in my penguin.

xo
g.

Where is Kent Larson? Part III

2006-06-24T12:04:00.000-07:00

When I was a kid I wanted to be a Cop on a horse.

When I was in middle school I wanted to be a Rockstar.

When I was in high school I wanted to be a Journalist.

When I was in college I wanted to be Journalist, a Designer, a Lawyer, an Editor, a Playboy or an Ambassador.

When I graduated from college I wanted to be a Pool Boy. I just wanted to get my dick sucked and take downers and drink champagne in Versace trunks and Gucci shades. So I started dating older men with six figure incomes. They drove European cars and fucked like teenagers. After months of that, I realized that I was still slinging burgers. So I started stripping and started Box.

Apparently, Kent Larson had no plans of being a porn star. According to his interview in Unzipped, he didn't even start his porn career until 28.

Way to go sailor!

Where is Kent Larson? Part II

2006-06-22T21:59:00.000-07:00

There's this tiny little crack lady that lives somewhere in my neighborhood. She's one of many, however they don't make crack heads like this anymore. She's straight-up Reagan-era. That gnome-like middle aged cripple is the bane of my existence.

The first time I met this bitch she walked up to my porch and started grunting at me.

"UUUUUUGGGGGHHHH!! UGH!!! UGGGHHHH!!"

I was so disgusted and guilty that I immediately ran to the kitchen. I grabbed a Diet Coke and a handful of cigarettes and returned to the porch. I gave her the cigarettes and she responded, "UUUUUGGGHHHH," in a monotone grunt. Her yellow teeth glistened as she lifted her smile to the sky and put the cigarette (my cigarette) to her cracked lips. Foam seeped from the corners of her mouth. She grunted again and gave the international sign for "lighter?" It pained me to smile, but I raised the corners of my mouth and placed the lighter in her hand.

She grabbed it and I cringed. In no time I realized that her hands were covered in open soars. I told the deaf-mute-dumb-gnome to keep it and ran inside to wash my hands.

This pattern continued for weeks. She would show up, I'd run ito the fridge and steal a Diet Coke and some menthols (who drinks diet coke anyway?). I'd pay my social dues, run inside, lock the door and wash the filth from my fingers. She eventually stopped coming.

Actually, it wasnt that casual of a departure. In fact, that bitch spit on me.

It was New Years Eve 2005 and the Fire and Ice Ball was in motion. People were pouring out the front door onto the lawn vomiting, making out, and shot-gunning Lone Star. Just as one of the President's daughters was leaving, SHE showed up. She was wearing her typical: oversized greenish-brown t-shirt, grayish-black oversized jeans and a halo of flees. She harassed the vomiters and shot-gunnners and was making her way up to the porchh. She approached and I immediately told her to leave.

"This is a formal occashion." I jolted forward, pouring Brut over my shirtless chest. She stuck out her hand and grunted aggressively. Her out-stretched hand held a small blue pill. Some one screamed, "She has Valium!" Everyone laughed, except for me. I glared at her and screamed for her to get off my porch. She turned as she walked away, and flipped me off. To which I responded, "CUUUUUNT!"

That's when it hit me. Crack saliva. Right in the kisser. Since then, she's popped up from the bushes grunting, she's attacked a friend in her car, chased us down the street, spit on multiple acquaintances and still never showered.

Kent Larson is the opposite of that. He's sexy, clean, and a power bottom. And when he pops up, like in the adult personals, it brings a smile to my face, not a scowl.

Mr. August or Where in the World is Kent Larson?

2006-06-22T09:59:00.000-07:00

The world of gay porn is a small one. Actors go from studio to studio jerking, sucking, fucking, fisting and posing. One day they're with Falcon, the next they're with Lucas. The best models, like Kent Larson, make their rounds to make their money.

Larson, the epitome of a power bottom, has over thirty film credits to his name and a Best Supporting Actor award from Gay VN for Lucas Entertainment's take on Dangerous liaisons.

Yes, Kent has been everywhere. In fact, the butch bottom is like the new "Waldo". "Where's Kent Larson?"

Apparently, Kent isn't just a video queen – he's also stock photography guy. A friend's mother recently sent her one of those "Men-Are-Like _________" calendars - and guess who Mr. Augustt is? Oh wait, Kent Larson has a spider's web on his arm, not some crappy tribal tattoo. Who does this douche bag think he is?

Vain Presents the Box Beach Binge BBQ

2006-06-21T19:18:00.000-07:00

It's that time again. What time you ask? Time for you to take off most of your clothing and get intimate with the editors, contributors and models of Box. Issue 4 (Binge and Purge) of Box is out tonight, and we need some beer to cope with what we've been exposed to in the past few months. In honor of excess, Box is teaming up with Vain Salon to bring you BBQ and bikinis.

The party is happening this Sunday, June 25 at Vain Salon in Austin, TX from 6-9 p.m. The address is 1803 Chicon (right next to the Shell station where you pick up your crack at the corner of MLK and Chicon). Attendees are encouraged to where beach attire and there is a suggested donation of $3 to get you stuffed on all the BBQ you can eat and drunk on all the beer you can drink. So come down and celebrate the departure of three of Box's editors and the latest issue of the magazine.

Oh yeah, there will be D.J.s too...

One Day Away

2006-06-20T14:32:00.000-07:00

The fourth issue of Box is sure to conjure extreme reactions. It will make you laugh and cry, scream and sigh, gag and cum. For this issue Box explores the world of Binge and Purge with interviews from some of the worlds most interesting and peculiar personalities, sexy and sometimes creepy photo essays, an in-depth feature on everyone's favorite upper and diaries from swingers and antacid addicts. Oh yes, and there's a slew of new web content coming including celebrity sex advice and weekly porn reviews. Get ready for the most comprehensive Box to date. - Photo by Aubrey Edwards

Two Weeks to a Better You

2006-06-17T17:13:00.000-07:00

As I was saying. You get all of the perks of being on a diet and you still get to throw up as much as you want. You can even fall asleep in it and not feel guilty. For more diet tips contact me at: onesorrysucker@gmail.com.

Diet tips III
Friday, March 04, 2005

1 large load of cum 1 glass HEB O.J. 2 hits of mid-grade -head is pounding -need aspirin -did i really do that last night? -nervous laughter -oh well "It was nice having you AGAIN. See you Saturday?" 1/2 cup water 1 texas everything bagel  1 smear neuphchatel cheese 1 more glass HEB OJ -tight jeans  -shiney boots -fake black D&G sun glasses -brain sloshing 1 mile walk to work -GOD DAMN IT!! My Fucking head hurts!! -we're sending somebody home 1 cup cottage cheese 1 glass water "Thank God! Fuck my head hurts!" 1 small coffee from Little City -wow there is good art in Austin -is today thursday? "Fuck all you bitches! I know i looked hot last week. Where's my shot in the dark?!" 4 bites cous cous salad -Donna Sommer and resume writing -sinking feeling -getting hungry 4 mile run in the cemetery -burnt orange makes me crazy 1 bowl tomato soup 3 crackers "Time to get rid of that head ache. HAPPY HOUR!" 2 mojitos 1 plate calamari 2 small mahi mahi tacos in wheat tortilla 1/3 bowl of queso 1/3 goat cheese salad 1/2 glass ice water 3 parliament lights -pitty party! "Everybody has that. It's easy to get rid of." -Fatboy Slim -more khaki than an African safari -head ache's gone 1 pint mint chocolate chip ice cream -feeling like carnie before the staple gun 1 bowl midgrade 3 pieces cheese, spinach and mushroom pizza 1 bottle water -making the band 3 is the best show ever "I look like shit!" -costume change -pink childrens t-shirt with black ink "i fucked rick perry" -black leather riding boots -black calvins 1 whiskey and coke 3 lone stars -corn dogs are our friends! -groping jen 1 lone star

Diet Tips Revisited

1 bowl k.b. 1 glass o.j. 2 ibuprofen 1 more bowl k.b. -got to get out of the house -HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMERIKA! -white jeans -white boots -blue tank w/red detail -2 gold chains  -one silver chain -red belt 1/2 bagel with cream cheese and grape tomato -play dress up  -everyone in red white and blue -your late  -you suck -well fuck you then 1 cup iced coffee -head pounding -why did i get out of bed? -god i hate hippies -i love america 3 bloddy Maries 3 hotels 150 dollars 5 drunks  1 ass load bar nuts -costume change -cutoff levi's 517s -white boots -red ringer -hand cuffs -plastic badge HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMERIKA -sorry -i love you AND I PROUDLY STAND UP 3 lone stars 1 bbq'd rib 1 shotgun'd lone star 2 sips sparks -why is everyone whereing black? -candid crotch shot -bush sting -this is tired Change of Location 3 Pimms and lemonade 2 cubes watermelon 2 lone stars 1 bite chicken  5 bites pasta salad -hideous face paint -i like it raw -fire works are for suckas HAPPY BIRTHDAY MERKA -feeling dizzy Drive up North 3 glasses red wine 2 glasses white wine 2 sips sparks -god i need some pot -i just love your work -bull shit bull shit bull shit -god i need some blow 1 piece cherry pie -roman candle -playing in the street -stomach turning -LAST CALL FOR ALCOHOL! I FUCKING HATE YOU AMERICA! -can't see the bar 1 Jack and Coke -OH FUCK! 1 bowl k.b. -rooms spinning -get your hands off of me -not in the mood -too sweaty -i'm going to the bathroom 1 toothbrush down throat Vomit  Vomit  Vomit -think i'm dying  -can't stand up -can't stand life -broke -no potential I HAVE AN EATING DISORDER THANK YOU AMERIKA 1 bucket of tears -culred up naked in the corner -something wrong?  -i can't do it without you -snoring  -snoring -still sick -gotta get ready for the b-day -grey t-shirt -torn blue jeans -big black gucci shades 1 glass water -more vomit -where's my car? -where's my dignity? -where's my mommy? -i love you Tweeter HAPPY BIRTHDAY BUNNY!

A History of Depression

2006-06-17T16:38:00.000-07:00

It's true–Proactive probably did work for Puffy and Vanessa L. But isn't it about time that we realize that Diddy and the former Ms. America have a team of stylists behind them? Let's face it, Courtney Love didn't really loose all that weight by not eating dairy and Trimspa–how about Lypo? I am sick of the lies.

That is why I came up with the perfect way to stay thin without buying into the hype. And you can still eat one sensible meal a day! Diet tips is the true road to flawless skin, famous friends and peace of mind.

Diet Tips I
Wednesday, July 07, 2004

1 bagel
three bottles of Champagne
1 tuna sandwich on rye
2 shots of Fernet
four bowls of the KGB
three grey goose drinks
two key bumps
-white eyeliner-
-black tie-
-uninspired conversation-
-sloppy make out-
-abuse with a belt-
-hard hitting headache-
-sharp stomach pain-
-three advil-
1 plate black beans and rice
3/4 cup coffee
2 mineral waters
chocolate ice cream
1 handfull m&ms
1 glass Fernet on the rocks
1 bowl of the KGB
-Season 1, Disk 1 The Anna Nicole Show-
-temporary depression-
-jack off in the bathroom-
-shame creeping-
-FUCK IT-
-Madonna the Immaculate Collection-

Diet Tips II
Tuesday, February 01, 2005

1 bowl kind bud
2 cups coffee light on the cream and sugar
1 serving tuna salad no bread, no cheese
3 glasses water
-bad news
-work burned down
-is that HPV?
-fuck it
4 glasses Jack Daniels and Coke a Cola
2 bites greek salad
4 Lonestars
1 more bowl
1/2 pot brownie
1 Jagermeister and Red Bull
1/2 pack Parliament lights
-grey sweater
-ox blood loafers
-corduroy bell bottoms
-quite storm
-old soul
-to drunk to drive
-drinks at the worst club in town
-to drunk to cry
-wow! I love it here!
-track down internet crush
-fondling myself in roommates bed
-I LOVE OKLAHOMA
1 bottle rotten Tropicana O.J.
-time to get tested!
-"If pigs could fly they'd still have tasers"
-nervous laughter
-it will sting for a couple of seconds
-hold the bandade in place
-more nervous laughter
-why is that guy sitting so close
-STD pamphlets
1 blood test
1 q-tip in my dick
-burning sensation
1 rectal exam
-no that's not a wart
-sigh of relief
- "number five, yous results are negative"
-let's remove that growth
-more burning
-all done
-TIME TO FUCK!
-internet porn
2 shots cum
1 Soyrizo taco
1 glass Horchata
1 bowl resin
2 cups coffee
-red boots
-red ringer
-strech jeans
-black frames
-harrassing coffee shop crush
-resist the pastries
-still the skinniest bitch i know
-SUCKERS!!

Self-Portrait Self-Sucker

2006-05-14T14:14:00.001-07:00

At age 12 I knew I was special. During a typical jack off session I decided to try something new. I knew I liked dick and I knew I wanted to suck one and have mine sucked. Since there was no one around. I decided to try it on myself. After falling off the bed twice, I figured it out. I sucked my head everyday for the next year. Eventually the novelty wore off and my height caught up with my dick size. That was the best and worst year of my life.

Once you've sucked your own dick, you'll always have a special place in your heart for other self-suckers. When I saw this photo of German-born photographer, Matthias Herrman, I instantly fell in love. He is a talented photographer and at 43, he is still able to do things that I haven't been able to achieve since 13. Viva la Cock!

Why They Win

2006-05-05T21:55:00.000-07:00

In honor of Mexican independence I took a trip back to the home of many an under-age drinking debacle. It came as no surprise to see familiar faces wearing long black aprons and the same dollar store decorations strewn around the dining room. While the plastic flowers made me temporarily forget about my girlfriend puking on my sued boots in front of Mariachi there, I soon remembered why it had been 4 years since my last visit. Our buxom waitress may have been charming but she was hard to find. We were also seated across from a group of under age sorority girls wearing Mexican house shirts. They ordered salads and lookied at each other as if they were plotting their sisters' demise.

That's when I remembered Captain Japan's coverage of the annual Kawasaki metal penis festival. I thought of college girls holding giant penis statues and licking brightly colored cock pops. I forgot about the bad service and dreamed of the day that I would retire busted blonde Betas for school girls who aren't afraid to lick a little dick in public.

It Hurts so Good

2006-05-04T10:28:00.000-07:00

It seems that the Box research team failed to include one very important fetish on there quest to complete the Guide to Paraphilias and Other Sexual Curiosities. Hospital fetishism, which is closely linked to the fetish depicted in Crash, Cronenberg's 1996 release, is a popular Asian fetish. For a close look at hospital fetishism take a peek at French photographer Romain Slacombe's collection of babe's in braces.

Mad Cowgirls

2006-05-03T21:56:00.001-07:00

It's amazing. I go in search of the obscure Harry Reems fan club, and when I find the official website their is no Harry in site. Instead of pictures of the porn star-turned-martyr, I find a picture of a biker babe riding naked on her man's shoulders. The picture is taken from behind and "Eat Her Beaver" is written in large white print on old boy's shirt. As if that wasn't enough, the people at Harry Reems Athletic Clubhave to get social conscious on my ass with this commentary on artificially enhanced beef. What about Harry?

Graphic Design

2006-05-03T21:37:00.000-07:00

When I see something I know I can make being sold in a store I say "that's nice buy I could make it." That is, unless that thing is an embroidered button that has the word cock stitched into it. I hate to perpetuate a stereotype but I love cock and I love Star Styling for perfecting the art of chach.

They Give Me Goosebumps

2006-05-02T13:54:00.000-07:00

When I was a kid, looking at porn was scary because I was afraid my parents would catch me stroking my pre-pubescent member. Now it's scary for a slew of different reasons. There are viruses, shady online credit card interactions, internet history, and the possibility of seeing someone you know gagging on a big fat dick. As if seeing your ex being fisted by a leather daddy isn't scary enough, the trend in hip pornography seems to be scaring young perverts into brand loyalty. The scariest part might be that I get hard watching this stuff.

Pinkie Pain, a one woman porn studio, describes herself as "the cutest danger ever." Her site features photos and videos that show her in such compromising situations as devouring a man's torso and drowning in a puddle of mud dressed in a bunny costume. Clearly Ms. Pain likes to play to the darker side but there are sites far more disturbing that ignore the morose and still frighten me out of my britches.

While some of the guys at Homo Punk maybe fuckable, they are all dressed in tiny thongs or children's clothing or bunny costumes. They all look like guys i've dated who have moved to New York, picked up meth, and quit showering. Maybe they are. Either way, it's more scary than sexy. Or is it?

I FUCKING HATE Mondays

2006-05-01T23:20:00.000-07:00

By Bunny

I've been smoking since I was 13. I started with Marlboro Reds and Lucky Strike non-filters. So when I woke up this morning with a charred cigarette in my hand I wasn't surprised. Despite the familiarity I thanked the God I rejected the day I first had sex, for not sending me up in smoke.

I cleared my dry throat and cursed my day's schedule before rolling out of bed into the mess that is my life. Why can't I just stay home and watch the end of that Passolini film and smoke cigarettes on my couch and fix my bike and pay my bills and call my boyfriend and beat off to my favorite porn?

Responsibility was calling and so was my bladder. I slipped on my new favorite jeans. They reeked of last night but I didn't have time to reconsider. My stomach was more eager than my bladder so I rushed to the toilet, dropped my draws and relieved my body of last night.

I was half way through the latest Taschen catalogue (trying to get a head start on the week's work) when my phone rang. I quickly wiped my ass and lifted my pants. That's when I heard the splash. Apparently cheap Louis Vuitton knock-offs aren't shit-proof. My wallet was swimming with yesterday's tuna salad.

After cleaning off the company card, I checked my voicemail. My 12 o'clock appointment couldn't meet until 10:30 p.m. It was a sign. I wasn't meant to leave the house today. Except for coffee and the bank and the other bank and work and my 10:30 p.m. meeting.

Responsibility is a mother fucker. I showered and dripped dry because I had used my only clean towel to wipe a spilled night cap. I grabbed my keys and hopped in the truck. The bank was nice. I saw some friends, chatted with my favorite teller and caught up on a little Tyra T.V. Maybe I can recover my Monday I thought.

No such luck, not only was my car hotter than a pizza oven, but when I turned the key in the ignition all I heard was a click. No vroom Â just a click. Click cliCK CLIIIIICK! The battery needed a little loving so I groped and caressed it into cooperating.

At the coffee shop I pulled into my parking space and immediately recognized someone I knew in high school. Before I could contemplate the best way to ignore them I ran into the concrete wall in front of me. Luckily it wasn't hard enough to cause any damage to the car but the damage was done. Everyone, including the shop's owner, watched my tired ass slam into that wall. FUCK!

I grabbed my coffee and drove home in record time. No one and nothing could hurt me now. I promptly jacked off and loaded a bowl. By the time I was scheduled for work I was tired and stoned. Typical work bothers seemed like small potatoes compared to the ones my wallet was swimming in earlier this morning . I ignored the usual suspects and vowed to quit eating sugar and drinking alcohol. If that bitch on Tyra can have perfect skin, so can I.

10:30 came quickly and I was off to have Margaritas with Aubrey, my rescheduled meeting from earlier in the day. She swung around I jumped in her car and we were off Polvo's. There didn't seem to be a better solution to the first and worst Monday in May.

I think God is finally getting his because we didn't make it more than a mile down the road. Aubrey's character of a car ended up wrapped around a construction post and we spent he night on the curb cursing the God that I rejected the first time I had sex. No one was hurt but no one made it to Polvo's for margaritas either. Oh well, that place is a shit hole and they serve margaritas loaded with grain liquor.

Titanic 2

2006-04-15T12:03:00.001-07:00

I'm so glad someone had the guts to make this movie - it's the story that needs to be told!

Titanic 2

Box Rocks SF/Oakland

2006-04-14T10:07:00.000-07:00

Box is throwing one of our legendary launch parties in Oakland TOMORROW! Don't miss out, we're going to have giveaways from Box and Good Vibrations, an amateur striptease contest where you can win a pair of JB Classics, and two of the hottest DJs on the Left Coast.

Golden Bull
Saturday
Oakland, CA
10pm-2am

See you there...

Clay Aiken's Gay Love Soldier

2006-04-05T21:22:00.000-07:00

I can't stand the thought of Clay Aiken naked, let alone fucking an ex-soldier in the ass in a Best Western somewhere in the Midwest. I can't even stand to look at him with his clothes on. Due to my disgust, I've always wondered why he's so successful. How does he sell records? Who likes Clay Aiken? Who would find him attractive? Who would fuck his chinless face?

Well, I found the answer to the last of those questions after blowing my load over the new Lucas Entertainment release, Auditions 8. Since watching porn is part of my job I can't just wipe up and walk away. I have to stick around and do research.

After finishing with my favorite featurette, starring Lucas favorite Kent Larson, I started going through the DVD extras. I opened the Model Bios, which provide height, weight and dick size, and there he was. John Paulus. This is the ex-beret who claims to have a stiff towel from his raunchy nights with the reality star. According to his stats he is 5'6" , 170 lbs. and 8".

I am still disgusted but the rest of the DVD is worth checking out.
Photo Courtesy Lucas Entertainment

And the winner is...

2006-04-05T19:23:00.000-07:00

Anna and Hugh (the two licking and groping each other) are the winners of the JB Classic Mugshot Competition. Now that they know, it's time to decide who's going to take home the limited edition sneaks from our friends at JB Classics. Maybe they can work out a weekends and holidays system.

Our Runners Up Paul St. John and Friends were a close second because they made us feel dirty. What the fuck is that in the upper right corner? Whatever it is you each one a pair of Box-brand panties or manties (for Mr. St. John).

we deliver

2006-04-01T16:39:00.000-08:00

thanks for showing me a good time thursday night. i have the sexiest friends.

let's do it again soon.

love always,
ginger

It's Coming

2006-03-21T00:54:00.000-08:00

When did you start thinking about what sexy is?

Ain't Spring a Bitch?

2006-03-21T00:48:00.000-08:00

I hope we didn't keep you waiting all day....

Issue #3 is up. Go find a quiet cubicle.

xo
Randy, and the rest of the Box Brigade.

CENSORED!!!!

2006-03-14T15:37:00.000-08:00

I know it's unprofessional to do this, but I'm just really angry. We had this great little book ready to go, and now look!!! Nothing. This is what I wrote back to Alphagraphics after they told me they don't print our sort of stuff (the day we were supposed to get it, nonetheless):

While I understand it is the policy of Alphagraphics not to print material of "this nature" I think it is totally inappropriate for your company to have led to me to believe that you would.

I could have outsourced this project anywhere. I chose Alphagraphics because I knew you to be expedient, and of above average quality. When I was told my project could have a seven day turnaround I was elated.

I looked at my first proof on Wednesday, I believe. Is there a reason why I was not told then that my project couldn't be finished? Again, I was there on Thursday. My proofs that day were late because your machines kept breaking. I was patient, and told yet again, "Don't worry, your project will be done on Friday."

On Friday, I was told that it will not be ready until Monday. This is a was a set back, but it was okay. I was assured that my project would be available today.

Since I first walked into Alphagraphics, my project has been in the hands of at least three people, including your graphic designer. Why wasn't this question of content raised before?

You understand that SXSW is a highly profitable time in terms of publicity and profit. We are a fledgling business and I couldn't even begin to tell you what this has cost us. I am truly disappointed, not only because my project wasn't completed, but to run into such poor business practices.

I stand behind Box as an art and culture magazine. While many, including Alphagraphics, see sex as shameful or something to be hidden, I believe that sex and nudity have a place in the media outside of standard pornography. Our magazine does not degrade, and if you find it does, most likely it is something within you.

...see what develops

2006-03-09T18:21:00.000-08:00

With only 1 week between us and the new issue, there are still 1 million things left undone. That, plus SXSW invades our sleepy southern town this week, turning it into a seething mass of blazers with t-shirts, RAZRs with those Babylon-5 headsets, and a river of beer and piss which taste more and more alike (trust me.) We're not giving into the corporate, more logos than a NASCAR Day Party trend but we WILL be lurking about.

If you find me out and about, ask me for a treat, and I'll give you the super special, SXSW-only, 'BOX presents a FIELD GUIDE to PARAPHILIAS and other CURIOSITIES in MINIATURE', which features a 27 page photo spread from this upcoming issue. And, by god, it's in PRINT!

Anyway, back to the grind-there's work to be done (if you call taking pictures of people making out while drinking and watching Beetlejuice work. I do.)

See you in a week.
Randy

2006-03-05T13:44:00.000-08:00

Nothing Good Ever Happens After 2 a.m.

I was running with a friend this week and he said there is no way to reverse the damage we've done to the ozone. He said that in 50-100 years, billions of people are going to die. Crispy corpses will line the streets. We will burn for all the hair spray and air conditioning. So next time you see a styrofoam coffee cup on the ground leave it there.

2006-02-27T09:12:00.000-08:00

After a somewhat tumultuous month the Box crew is finally settling down and getting cracking on the most ambitious issue yet. Unfortunately there are still some haters out there and to those haters I say: SUCK IT!
To everyone else here's a little hollywood insider scoop I picked up at a Tranny sushi bar in San Francisco.

It was my boyfriends birthday and I was in town for the occasion. We called ahead and made reservations for two. When we arrived, the door girl (yes a real girl) told us that we had no reservation but she'd "be happy to put you at the dinner bar." We walked past every table in the place and finally reached the end of the bar. We were seated right next to the waitress' station in the last two seats. It was a bit upsetting at first but it turns out it was well worth the inconvenience.

We not only had conversations with all the girls but we also got all of the gossip going down at Asia S.F. Girls were pissed because it was Grammy night, Ginger does too much blow, Sasha is a raging bitch, Melody wasn't supposed to come in tonight and so on.

It was all vaguely entertaining in a transgendered reality t.v. sort of a way but it wasn't enough to make up for the lost reservations. One of the girls got on stage and performed, we ate a great meal, things were looking up. However, the highlight of the night came in the form of an overheard conversation between the most beautiful woman/man I'd ever seen and the hunky asian bartender.

Bartender: You know you've had some hot celebrity dick.
Waitress: No I haven't.
B: Bull shit, tell us about it. Who was it?
Waitress: I'm not telling you?
B: Was it Eddie Murphy?
Waitress: NO!
B: Who was it?
Waitress: FIne! I was hanging out with this guy at a bar in L.A.
It was me and him and a whole bunch of his boys kickin' it in the
VIP. The whole night he was all up on it like he wanted som, but
I wasn't giving it up. So he finally grabbed me and said 'Baby let's go
up to my room.' I said 'Baby I have to tell you something.'
He was like 'Whatever it is I can handle it.' So I told him 'I have a dick.'
The mother fucker was all 'It's cool I'm a bottom.' I was like honey, not for me."
B: No fucking way. HA HA HA! He's a fag?

Yes he is folks. Or at least that's what she said – and i believe her. With looks like those she could turn any man.

2006-02-17T07:50:00.001-08:00

Does something seem off to you?

Despite the cold snap and tight nipples around the office, great things are in store for Box in the warming months. We're starting to get submissions in for #3, and it's shaping up to be our best (and probably most controversial) issue yet. I'm excited, others are nervous, and one of us is hungry.

By the way, are you going to be in town for SXSW? Let us know, and we'll keep you informed about an upcoming Box Party.

sxsw@box-mag.com

holla. Randy

Next Top Model

2006-02-16T13:22:00.000-08:00

Vix here....

Watching the Tyra Show last night I couldn't help but wonder, "Why did I love her so much before?" The first two seasons of America's Next Top Model were amazing... since becoming some sort of business mogul, Tyra's collapsed into some psuedo-intellectual blatherer.(i.e. 'Pop culture controls us all').

ANYWAY, I found these photos and thought you might like them. It's our "Towel Shoot."

ginger needs a bath

2006-02-12T15:22:00.000-08:00

not only have i not been able to do anything about my baboon ass from flaring up this week, but ginger needs to relax.

i will be waking up at 7 am for the rest of my life.

did i tell you that i was a gemini?
i need to use your deep clawfoot tub.
please have it clean and filled with oils and bubbles by the time i finish this joint.

and also, i love you.

i know you love me too.

kisses!

Bunny Hop

2006-02-07T10:56:00.000-08:00

Bunny LeRoi
02/07/06

It's time for this Bunny to bounce. I am going to the land of Chronic and homos and leaving a land of cows and crackers. All the karats in the world couldn't get this Bunny to stay in Texas for another day. However, if you think you could prove me wrong name the time and place and I'll bring my appraiser. CHA-CHING BITCH.
I need some Emergen-C and a bowl of greens.

Stick this in your iCal

2006-02-05T22:56:00.000-08:00

So, you know when you're life's too fucking scheduled?

When you're in the shower, and you think 'Damn, I should've put the conditioner in my hair BEFORe I started jerking off...would've given it some time to work."

Welcome to my life.

But I'm a Vegetarian

2006-01-28T21:24:00.000-08:00

Bunny LeRoi
Diet Tips V
01/29/06

11:00 a.m.

Droning noises coming from across bedroom
Heavy Eyes
-Yes pink is the perfect color Ms. Lovelace

11:15 a..m

Repetitive beeping coming from across bedroom
-(f.) Ideal Sadism.
-Sadism may eventually manifest itself solely in the imagination

12:13 p.m.
Whale sounds coming from cell phone
-Hello
"It's your mother. I haven't heard from you in a while. I figure your busy."
-I'm going to have to give blow jobs in the bathroom at work to make my way to San Francisco
"Ha ha ha! Or something like that!"
1 bowl Purple Urple

12:30
Stumble around bedroom trying to find underwear
1 pair pink American Apparel Y-fronts
1 grey sweat shirt
1 pair gold wire framed glasses
"Boom boom boom let's go back to my room"

1:00 p.m.
Stumble to the kitchen
Curse the world
Scrape tongue
Brush teeth
1 Drop Emu Oil
1 dollop First Aid serum
1 pair ripped jeans
2 dabs eye cream
-Where's my hair?
-Oh yeah

1:15 p.m.
2 cups progress coffee
1 spoon sugar
1 creamer
-Did you here @#$ is up!
"Yeah"
-Oh well
"Have you ever been to Jezebel."
-Yeah let's go.
"I need something new to read"
-I want Janice Dickinson

2:13 p.m
1 bowl Purple Urple
"...because we love you and what you do, we are extending the deadline..."
1 bottle Mexican mineral water
-Anymore of those naked lady lighters fall off the truck?
"Okay have a nice day."

2:47 p.m.
No Janice
No Chanel
No BUTT
-What kind of a bookstore is this
1 copy "The E Myth: Why most small businesses fail'
1 copy Blackbook Music Issue
-Usher makes my crotch all warm

3:55 p.m.
We're having a store-wide sale everything is 50% off
-You'd be hard pressed to find something worth the discount
20 pairs Clam Diggers
15 clutch purses
13 Hello Kitty tie-dyes
Nausea setting in
Need booze

4:30 p.m.
"Who wants dinner I'm buying"

5:15 p.m.
-Do you serve booze?
"Yes sir"
-See you soon

5:30 p.m.
"Welcome to the Salt Lick"
Family Style BBQ
All you can eat
Take your left overs home
1 Amstel lights
3 Parliament Lights
4 beer-battered onion rings
10 slices brisket
13 pieces pork sausage
3 spare ribs
3 spoons
10 spoons potatoe salad
15 tablespoons
3 cups coleslaw
2 cups beans
1 slice white bread

6:30 p.m.
"Would y'all like some more ribs"
-Yes please!
1 shot Irish Whiskey
1 Amstel Light
3 Parliament Lights
-I don't think I'll ever shit again
"What is a Yoni?"
-It's a pussy
"Follow the black carpet"
-Does anyone else feel high?

8:30 p.m.
Urban Legend
Muscles atrophy
Swelling all over body
2 Lone Stars
1 Grape Blunt

11:30 p.m.
Need to vomit
-Fight the temptation
-Fight the Temptation
"I'm sending a letter to Daddy."

12:01 a.m.
Weak neck
Aching Muscles
Swollen Stomach
-I'm never eating meat again

we're all sluts.

2006-01-27T21:50:00.000-08:00

even box is now on myspace.

i've been standing under a waterfall with people from my past.

a continual identity crisis.

i suppose it's all necessary.

everyone is insane.

kisskiss.
g. lover

Deep-fried Retail

2006-01-24T20:16:00.000-08:00

Retail Improvement Plan I
Bunny LeRoi
01/24/06

Someone once told me that the ever-boring American department store, Dillard's, used to be called Diamonds.Dillard's is nothing like a Diamond . Diamonds are the way to a Rabbits heart but a trip to Dillard's is the equivalent of animal testing on a poor Bunny. It smells like old women and babies. The employees are all over sixty or on the National Registry of Sex Offenders and the lighting makes we want to trow up.
So I've been trying to find a way that Dillard's can live up to its previous name. And the answer is "tempura." FRY THE BITCH! Think about a nice flakey Jessica McClintoch camousal or a pair of Steve Madden heels battered like a baby shrimp. YUM BITCH!

sex and the shitty

2006-01-23T19:43:00.000-08:00

the idea of having 'sex and the city' on regular television seems like a good one...until you realize that they've taken out all of the sex, so it's just 'the city'. which would be fine, except i watch 'seinfeld' to get my laughs about new york.

i want more sex. is that too much to ask?

Scrubs

2006-01-20T15:13:00.000-08:00

Bunny LeRoi
01/21/07
Holler 1

When I go running I wear white soccer shorts that barely cover my ass, a pink muscle shirt that says I fucked "Rick Perry,"
my gold Versace aviators. striped gym socks, and a pair of grey Adidas running shoes. So when some fuckin' hill billy screams"faggot!" out of his Yukon or F-150, I just shake it off. But when a homeless man at a bus stop calls me "baby" and continues with, "what's wit' it," then points at my crotch, I have to pause and think.

So what have you been up to since graduation?

2006-01-18T19:43:00.000-08:00

Bunny LeRoi
Diet Tips III
Tuesday, January 17, 2006

9 a.m.

Strong smell of Tito's Vodka and Stale Parliament lights
"Texas is burning"
"The Dow is Up"
Throbbing Dick
SNOOZE

9:15 a.m.

Phlem gathering
Throbbing Dick
-God Damn I'm Horny!
"And this is Morning Addition"
SNOOZE

9:30 a.m.

FUCK!!!
-I can't stand up!
Dizzy Feeling
1 bowl k.b.
-Fifteen minutes 'til work
1 large glass O.J.
"...and it doesn't help to know that your just time away..."

9:45 a.m.

1 pink Barbie t-shirt
1 pair skin-tight blue jeans
1 pair white cowboy boots
1 gold locket
1 big black scarf
1 large coffee
1 tsp. sugar
1/2 Marlboro Light 100
Stomach turning

10:30 a.m.

-What the fuck is this, Mega Death?
1 bowl borcolli cheese soup
"Don't forget to bring dishes from the back kitchen...you are in station 3"
-Can I get my W-2s please?
Wages, tips, and other compensation
$10,178.34

11:30 a.m.

1 large glass O.J.
-I used to go to school with that girl
-She looks so grown up
-GOD DAMN! MY HEAD HURTS!
-Stop the pounding
-Hi how are y'all doin' today?
"Tea!"
-FINE
Blood rising
-Who the fuck does that bitch think she is?
Deep breathes

3:30 p.m.

1 spinach salad
1 cup brocolli
1 tbsp. of ranch
4 glasses water

4:00 p.m.

1 bagel with cream cheese
1 bottle Italian Sparkling Mineral Water
"...he is a making a careful examination of his legs, on which the
coarse dark hairs are silky in spite of their vigorous growth..."
1 hard dick

4:30 p.m.

-I need to unload this fucking wad!
-Let's go shopping
Offensive odor of scented candles
Hundreds of picture frames
"Would you like me to wrap this up?"
3 stores
2 pot heads
1 keylime tartlett
1 sample fruit tart
5 blue berries
1 red velvet mini-cupcake
1 large bottle sparkling mineral water
1 crystal picture frame
1 bouquet miniature flowers
-Will you wrap these up for us?
"Is someone having a birthday party?"
-Are you the big bald guy in the tie died t- shirt in that picture?
"Have a nice day"
"So you at the Yellow Rose"

6:30 p.m.

1 gay porn
15 minutes
1 coin sized dollop of lubricating liquid
"Yeah fuck me!!"
Short Violent breathes
1 coin sized dollop of cum
Eyelids getting heavy
200 Blue Bunnies jumping over a fence
20 minutes R.E.M.

8:30 p.m.

20 + pairs of tits
3 stages
3 lonestars
3 jack and cokes
1/2 priced drinks
1 drunk door girl
-HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAM!!
"Annie are you okay...?"
-Fuck that girl is selling–WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!!!?
1 human pretzel
2 ass cheeks/bongo drums
5 Parliament Lights

10:00 p.m.

2 parliament lights
1 Three-way lap dance
1 Lone Star
-I'm a stripper too!!!
-Why does stripper ass smell like candy?
"If you ever need girls to pose..."
-Thanks Lexi!

10:30

-Off to another bar
Stomach turning
Need more whiskey
3 or so Lone Stars
7 Parliament Lights
1 free Jager shot
"Come on and take me away...dream lover..."
-I want diamond fronts!!
-I want to fuck
-I need to sit down

1:30 a.m.

1 bowl k.b.
Stomach still unsettled
-Why can't I throw up?
-Bulimia used to be so easy
"Money, money, money...must be funny..."
-I'm funny
-Funny bunny
-Bunny's Funny Honey
Eyelids getting heavy
200 blue bunnies jumping over a fence

Issue #3

2006-01-16T21:08:00.000-08:00

I know, I know- issue #2 is still hot, but I'm already excited for issue #3.

A Million Little Pieces

2006-01-16T11:34:00.000-08:00

Well, January is 17 days old, and we've hit one million hits. One point one five, actually. Quite nice.

For all of you who made it out to the Launch Party, thank you! It was by far the party of '06 (thusfar). For everyone who had to wait 45 minutes for a beer or didn't make it inside at all, apologies. We didn't think things would get so packed, and Issue 3 will be in a much larger venue.

Photos will be up in the Gallery section this week-if you have any, mail them to photos (at) box-mag.com

xoxo
Randy

Let's get naked!

2006-01-10T10:47:00.000-08:00

See you there!
Randy

doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore...

2006-01-08T23:55:00.000-08:00

Bunny 1989

when i was about six my mom woke me up two hours before school because we had to "help some people out." she grabbed her big straw purse with suede straps, threw on her oversized shades and dragged my sister and i from our beds to her cream colored volvo.
we went to Grandy's and bought a dozen cinnamon rolls and filled our thermos with hot chocolate. we headed to the site of our day's good deed. when we arrived at the junior league charity event i had imagined in my head i didn't see any pearls and i certainty didn't see any cucumber sandwiches. instead, i stepped out of the car into a crowd of hairy female legs and everybody was screaming at something across the street.
there was something going on. i parted the sea off furry hippy trunks and made my way to the street. when i got there i was confronted by twenty disgruntled christian women frothing at the mouth and hurling insults at the forrest of legs i was standing in. they were wearing dresses that could have come straight from the set of little house on the prarie and holding signs with dead babies in trash cans on them. they were accompanied by men that looked like my coaches from school. they just stood there. i was scared of the bleeding babies and the ugly women and the reminder of gym.
i screamed and frantically ran away from the street. i searched through the forrest, finally clutching the only bare trunks in the lot. my mom grabbed me and told me she loved me and that i should never be like the people across the street. she picked me up, kissed my cheek and put me in the back seat of the volvo where i slept until i got to school.
that's my boyfriend on all fours right there below the blinds

La Quinta is Spanish for $78 a room on the edge of a dusty asshole of a town

2006-01-07T22:43:00.000-08:00

FIfi, Ginger, Randy, Vix and Bunny
Diet Tips I
Wednesday, January 4, 2006

5 p.m.

4 x 1 XL large cup iced coffee
1 x 1 XL cup green tea
13 taco cabanas
2 outlet malls
- sneakers sneakers sneakers blah blah blah!
-MAMA CITAS!!!!
-wow cut this bitch off
1 Nalgene bottle full of SUPER CLEANSE
-fifi i think your dieting is a little unheathy

6:14 p.m.
La Quinta is Spanish for "My bladder is going to explode!"

1 cigarette
6 cups tamari almonds
1 handful bird seed trail mix
1 bottle mineral water
1 cup hot tea
-consistency is key
-remember when that girl totally flashed her kooter
-these mirrors make me look hot
-i'm hungry
-we paid for wireless god damn it

8;27 p.m.
La Quinta is Spanish for "I need Mexican takeout or my stomach is going to implode"

1 camel light
4 X 1 tecate
3 X 26.375 chips
1 cup smoked avocado salsa
-golden showers
-rubber dolls
4 x beans and rice
1 x chicken mole enchiladas
1 x hongo quesadilla
3 x vegetarian tacos
1 x Bottle SUPER CLEANSE
-mmmmmmm
-god i want to eat. this lemonade tastes like urine

10 p.m.
La Quinta is Spanish for "T&A"

2 x 1 tecate
2 bottles mineral water
-hot cars
-modern furniture
-whimsical feet
-ass and titties ass and titties
-i look much taller in these mirrors
-sploshing
-plushee sex
-They dress up like mascots and fuck
-No they don't
-Yes they do
-They also fuck teddy bears
-No
-YES!
-porn is played

12:03 a.m.
La Quinta is Spanish for "Grandma stole my style!"

1 x camel light
1 x parliament light
1 cock broach
1 cock fight belt buckle
2 x kitten socks
1 x off shoulder bangle kitty sweatshirt
-am i wearing too many animals?
-when does this stop being funny and become a serious problem?
-is this what happened to grandma?

12:09 a.m.
La Quinta is Spanish for "Dutch Oven"

3 x 1 cup water
-don't touch me there
-don't sleep on the couch
-no it's okay
-is Randy jacking off?
-vix is that you...?

Box Retreat Day 1 Recap

2006-01-04T22:38:00.000-08:00

Two Words: Post-pornographic Smut.

Thank You.
-Randy

Bush for Box?

2006-01-03T11:38:00.000-08:00

Waiting for the Mirror in the Bathroom
Originally uploaded by Randy.

Barb and Co. waiting to pee at Bunny's New Years Party. She was nice, by the way, and quite friendly (we chatted about my taking 1000 photos of her blonde friend), though I hadn't the foggiest idea who she was until she was gone.

Diet Tips II

2005-12-25T21:48:00.000-08:00

It's over. Thank God it's over.

9:10 a.m.
-wake up it's time for church
- fuck church i'm tired

9:25 a.m.
-dirty blue jeans
-morning breath
"come back to bed"

9:45 a.m.
3 cinnamon rolls
2 glasses O.J.
1 cup coffee
- 1 tsp. sugar
- 1 tsp. cream

10:15 a.m.
-Sucker Free Zone
"I'm in love with a stripper"
"Work that thing run girl"
"I wanna see that grill"
-P.R. day
-stealing wifi from parent's neighbors
-SHIT! Only two bars

1:30 p.m.
2 mimosas with local wine
1 Yamaha Virago
1 motor cycle jacket
2 wool sweaters
2 bottles Gucci cologne
2 pairs Y-fronts
1 picture frame
-Couple of the Century
-Bunny Loves Tweeter
1 leather jewelry box
1 paper back of Querelle

3:30 p.m.
1 bottle Gerolstiener
-vacuum the living room
-iron the table cloth
-rinse the lettuce
-chop the olives
"Oops! burned the almonds"
"Let's open another bottle of Champagne!"

5:00 p.m
1 halibut filet with lemon caper cream sauce
1 serving stir fried green beans w/pine nuts
1 small Ceasar salad
1 glass water
3 glasses Chardonnay
-Etta James Greatest Gospel Hits
-stomach expanding
-God I miss bulimia

7:30 p.m.
-frantic dash to scale
-still under 140

7:32 p.m.
-1 slice blueberry pie
1 cup coffee
- 1 shot Irish Cream
"Bobby Gentry bitch"

9:00 p.m
-Forty Year Old Virgin
-sex drive dying
-why don't I want to fuck
"I feel sick"
1 piece English Toffee

10:13 p.m.
Kill Bill Vol. II
-guilty feeling
"Just keep typing on your computer"
"Fuck you"
"Shutting Down"

land of entrapment to land of enchantment

2005-12-23T23:57:00.000-08:00

I finally made it to N.M. after a long breakfast with the family. During which the toothless waitress at Dumplin's took 15 min. to bring me a 35 oz. O.J. from concentrate on ice while my grandparents repeatedly made fun of my hair and my constant weight loss.
I can't help it if God and the American media blessed me with self-control and poor body image.
Anyhow, I'm out of TX. at least for the time being.
Oh yeah! I also gotta super hot bike! That's right Bunny's a motor-bitch now. Watch out world I've got a truck, a motorcycle and an eating disorder.

West Texas Royalty

2005-12-23T08:00:00.000-08:00

Bunny
10:01 a.m.
I've been in West Texas now for 16 hours and in that time I've seen:
23 dead deer two of which were mounted in a restaurant
2 trucks (one commercial the other personal) brandishing the Confederate flag
Countless oil refineries
hundreds of cows
2 cowboys riding horses on the freeway (I hope they never quit each other)
More white trash than the Queen has jewels

And I think to myself - what a wonderful world.

Wear your love like heaven.

2005-12-22T15:55:00.000-08:00

I'd like to thank you for being the best damn blog reader I've ever known. Thanks, really.

-Randy

Bunny's Diet Tips

2005-12-22T01:18:00.000-08:00

TEXAS TODAY

10:00 a.m.
- 10 min. late for work
1 bowl k.b.
- where the fuck are my keys
- fuck it!
- No. 6 to Congress

10:12 a.m.
-mean bus driver
-no water we're closed
-FUCK! I NEED COFFEE

10:27 a.m.
1 large glass OJ
5 mexican dishwashers
-Deck the Halls
- Mi Vida Loca
-My brain is going to explode
1 cup brown water desguised as coffee
2 creamers
2 spoons sugar
1/2 parliament light

11:01
Out of date cash register
Desperate office drones
Salad Bar
- would you like cheese on that?
- your change is $10.15
4 glasses water

2:30
1 spinach salad
1 cup banana pudding
1/2 parliament light
-magazines up!
-sinking feeling
YOU GOTTA GET OFF THE DAMN CELL PHONE TO RIDE MY BUS
-sinking deeper

2:45
Black cloud lifting
GONNA DRESS YOU UP IN MY LOVE
1 bowl k.b.
- Napa auto
- O'Riely Auto
- Maxwell Ford
- "yeah we got your pump"
FINALLY!

3:15
2 boutiques
1 gold chain
1 baby blue American Apparel t-shirt
1 hey girl from store owner

5:00
Whole foods makes me sick
1 bottle red wine
2 vegetarian spring rolls
1 cup asian slaw
-HAVE A HOLLY JOLLY CHRISTMAS!

8:15
Laptop
Black Pug
Frozen toes
2 cups water
1 bowl k.b.
1 praliament light
- tits tits tits....ass ass ass...lingerie

9:00 p.m.
Heidi Klum
Black Pug
Laptop
-You either in or you out!
3 pitchers lone star
5 parliament light
TKO

10:15
1 bowl k.b.
5 more parliament lights
- time is slipping away

11:00
1 lonestar
1 jack and coke
- One is the Lonliest number
- Too many familiar faces
- too many familiar bodies
WHAT HAPPENS IN MONTREAL STAYS IN MONTREAL!

1:30 a.m.
1 lonestar
2 hits off the pipe
1 parliament (okay two)
-cold porch
-remember Mexico
-wish you were here

2:00 a.m.
You're all I need to get by
FUCK IT'S TWO!

Bock Box

2005-12-21T14:11:00.000-08:00

Fifi here.
The issue is up.
Out.

Mutha Fuckin' Crunch Time

2005-12-20T13:38:00.000-08:00

Fifi here.
Rotating tires. We took our editors photo today. I'm sick of looking at my titties, for sure. We had to buy toy guns for the photos and Bunny kept swearing in this little, bougie toy store. I found a fucking chicken hat! It looks like the chicken is shitting me out. More later. I'm making the website still.

Au Revoir,

Fif